Through Your Eyes
by TrueClaradee
Summary: Degrassi meets Paranormal. About the misfits when they are a bit older. Clare/Adam 24 Eli is 25.I don't want to write out a summary it will give it away so just give it a chance. Keep an open mind when you read it :  Rated Mature mainly for language.
1. Chapter 1

**OH HAI. So this story I have to say by far is my favorite to write, its just ah anyway. Its Degrassi but it has a twist to it. Its like Degrassi meets paranormal well I should say the misfits meet paranormal because it centers around them. So when you read it keep that in mind. I can't wait to see what you guys think. **

"Eli! Adam! Breakfast come on hurry up" Clare called up the stairs awaiting her roommates who also happened to be her best friend and boyfriend, excuse me fiance. Clare was still getting used to that herself it had been two weeks that Eli asked her to be his wife. She honestly never thought the day would come and was caught off guard when he had asked her.

"Clare!" She was shaken from her thoughts and looked over at Adam who was holding up his empty plate. She laughed and put a waffle on his plate with a scoop of scrambled and watched him devour it in seconds.

"Adam,its not going anywhere slow down. Where is Eli?" She asked raising an eyebrow and putting her hands on her hips. Just as she did two arms wrapped around her waist and Adam rolled his eyes as a smile grew over Clare's face. She turned to meet Eli and placed a quick kiss on his lip before Adam could see, Eli just smirked at her.

"Eat, come on or you'll both be late"she laughed and Adam just shrugged scooping another spoonful of eggs into his mouth. Eli rolled his eyes and grabbed himself a cup of coffee,while Clare served his food putting it on the table.

"I still can't believe you make me get up early to make you food" Clare teased Adam.

"Hey, in a few months you will be married and I'll have to resort to poptarts okay? I am taking advantage of this while I can" he laughed.

"Oh I'm kidding you know that" she smiled sipping on a cup of tea. Eli frowned at look at her as he was eating.

"Clare, did you eat?" he asked

"No but I have a big test today and eating will make me queasy" she sighed rubbing her temples, just thinking about it made her shoulders tense.

"Ugh, college is brutal whoever said it was fun sort of lied" Adam interrupted, Clare and Eli couldn't help but laugh at him.

"No, they totally lied the parties are stupid and homework was horrible, exams were the worst" Eli laughed and Clare cringed.

"Sorry, you'll do fine Clare you always freak out and then do way better then you thought" he smiled reassuringly at her.

Once they had finished eating Clare loaded the dishes into the dishwasher,Eli wiped down the table and Adam took out the trash. It was part of their team effort to keep the place tidy since at one point Clare was doing almost all the work and one day under pressure of classes she snapped and yelled at both of them to help out more. They had both found her little freak out scary and hilarious but decided it was better to help out then have a pissed off Clare,no one wanted that ever it's the worst.

"Hey I've got to get going" Eli said and kissed Clare gently on the forehead. She smiled and he waved at Adam.

"Wait, you're still picking me up from work for guys night?" Adam questioned

"You know it" Eli smirked and disappeared out the front door.

(Later, Last Class)

"And with that said your video projects are due on Monday,have a good weekend" The professor said and exited the classroom. Clare stood in the door way and looked over at Adam and grinned from ear to ear holding up the assignment they had been working on in her class. She had received high marks and was worried she was going to fail,Adam always told her she was such the worry wart.

"I knew you would get high marks" he chuckled as he walked to the door to meet her.

"Shut up, you didn't! I thought I was going to fail" she frowned.

"Saint Clare fail? Not likely" he smirked and she shoved him gently.

"Hey lady violence isn't the answer" he mocked her.

"Aw shes here again" Clare frowned and sighed moving a wisp of her curly her bangs from her eyes.

"Again? Really..don't they ever leave?" Adam frowned

"Adam..you know it doesn't work like that, besides shes lost"

"Clare.." Adam lowered his voice before speaking again "Shes a ghost you can't just waltz up and talk to her, people will notice you talking to yourself"

"Not if you stand in front of me and make it look like I am talking to you"

"Those things creep me out and you know it!" Adam protested.

Clare folded her arms over her chest glaring at him "They aren't things, how many time must we go over this? They were once people..and not many can help them"

"Well..they're dead can't they just go into the light?"

"Not if something is keeping them" she frowned

"Okay, fine" Adam caved and Clare smiled triumphantly pulling him over to where the dead girl was sitting on a lonely bench. Clare sat next to her so Adam wouldn't have to and Adam stood in front of her. Clare tried to talk to the ghost but she vanished as soon as she realized Clare could see her. Adam looked at Clare's puzzled expression and held out his hand helping her up.

"She gone?"

"Yep, I guess I can't help them all" she sighed adjusting her bag on her shoulder. Adam gave her a small smile and kissed her cheek. "But you try which is more then I would do, cheer up PFFL" he smiled and Clare couldn't help but smile back as they left campus for the day.

(Guys Night)

It had been six hours since Clare dropped Adam off for his shift at Jolly's Ice cream parlor. Adam rolled his eyes at the name they had to serve each cone with a Jolly attitude and a smile as the owner had put it. At this point he was only here because the old man gave him extra money when he could and for the free ice cream at the end of the day. Adam loved that part most, free ice cream and making money what could be better?

His shift was nearly over and it had been a slow day which was good for Adam because he could have his pick of flavors. See the other great thing about Jolly's was that the ice cream was all made by his bosses family it was a family secret. Sure they had a factory and Jolly's was well known in Canada but there really wasn't any other kind of ice cream like it. The old man had even taken note of Adam, Eli and Clare's favorites.

"Adam, why don't you go wait outside for your friend I can finish up here" the old man came out of the back as Eli walked in.

"Ah Eli hello" he smiled and Eli gave him a wave "Hello Mr. Stevens" The phone rang and he walked into the back to grab it.

"Ready to head out Rocky?" he asked

"Elijahpop I am always ready to be with you" Adam winked suggestively wiggling his eyebrows.

"Shut up and give me my ice cream with a Jolly smile, oh and Adam sing the song" Eli smirked

Adam rolled his eyes "Shut up, that isn't even funny its horrible when I have to sing when someone tips, I will not sing for you to get your shits and giggles"

"I don't giggle" he chuckled

"You do shit though" Adam laughed and they bumped fists and Adam walked to the back hanging up his apron.

"Have a good weekend Mr. Stevens see you Monday" Adam called out as they left the store.

"You boys too! Drive safe"

Eli unlocked Morty and Adam climbed inside glancing at his watch it was ten-thirty already. Where has the day gone? Adam stretched and looked at Eli "So what are we doing?"

"I figure we head home,Open a six pack and jam on guitar hero until we die?" Eli laughed

"Morbidity from Eli, surprising" Adam joked.

"Shut up you know what I mean" he laughed.

"Alright but we have to clean up around midnight you know how Clare will get if she comes home to find a mess" Adam chuckled.

"Yeah..lets keep the mess minimal and she's visiting Alli tonight and her baby" Eli shrugged as he pulled out of the parking lot.

"Oh you know what that means" Adam smirked.

"Shut up just cause Clare is going to visit a baby doesn't mean she is going to want one"

"If you say so man,but you wait I bet right now that baby is pulling at her heart strings and she's imagining a little Goldsworthy baby" he chuckled and Eli rolled his eyes.

"No, Clare and I had this discussion. She wants to wait, I want to wait" he raised an eyebrow at Adam "Its actually you that keeps bringing up the baby subject, don't think Clare and I didn't notice the "subtle" hints"

"Whatever do you mean Elijah?" Adam smirked

"Oh you know writing have a baby on the fridge in magnets doesn't imply anything? Or sticky notes in Clare's texts books" he chuckled shaking his head.

"Okay so I want to be an uncle, Sue me" He laughed

"You know you do have Drew" Eli raised his eyebrow.

"Yeah well when Drew settles down, maybe I'll bug him about it but for now make me a baby dammit"

"Adam you are insane" Eli laughed as Morty started to sputter.

"UGH! No! Come on Morty" Eli and Adam both said in unison as Eli tried to pull off the side of the road. Morty wouldn't budge though so Eli flicked on the blinker and pulled out his cell phone, great he thought calling AAA to come tow him. Morty was overheating again the one time he didn't have his tools & supplies in the back. He was certainly going to get an earful from Clare when she heard about this. Adam sighed shaking his head and looked around it was dark out a little creepy he knew they weren't too far from home, about another fifteen minutes but waiting here in the dark was creepy it felt like a scene in a horror film.

Eli laid his head against the steering wheel and then flipped on the radio, Dead Hand soon filled the air soothing both Eli and Adam's mood almost instantly. They both sang along to it laughing getting really into it forgetting they were stuck there on the road just enjoying the song.

"Just trace the lines on your paisley jacket" they sang louder both pretending to play the air guitar,eyes closed feeling like they were both sixteen all over again. That's when it happened the SUV coming down the road like a speed demon lost control and hit them, Both Eli and Adam felt the jolt but before either could react Morty skidded across the road and flipped over onto his side with a loud crash.

"Eli, are you okay?" Adam asked

"Yeah, I don't feel anything" Eli looked over at Adam then at his surroundings, why weren't they in Morty? He looked over and saw Morty on the ground completely destroyed smoke and glass everywhere. Eli could feel his heart crumbling just looking at that but why were he and Adam over here and Morty way over there? He and Adam both turned to each other at the same time, Adam looked fine there was no way he couldn't at least have a scratch and judging by Adam's expression Eli looked okay too.

"Eli are we..." Adam trailed off looking away.

"Dead?" Eli asked his voice cracking.

"Yeah.." Adam answered.

They both heard it, the sirens and the guy that had hit them his car was wrecked pretty good too but they could see him sitting up right in it. There was a gash on the side of his head it looked pretty nasty but from what they could see he seemed fine otherwise. When the paramedics pulled up one of the trucks rushed to the SUV and the other rushed to where Morty was they were all yelling but neither Adam nor Eli cared too much for what they were saying. They both watched motionlessly as their bodies were being removed from under neath what was once Morty.

Eli saw the gashes all over his face his body was bruised and his eye were shut but he also noticed something else he was still breathing, his chest was heaving it was uneven but still a breath was leaving him. So why was he out of his body? Why wasn't he in it groaning in pain? Adam looked over his own body it didn't even look like him too much he was covered in what he assumed to be his own blood his face and body cut all over, some of his skin seemed to be burned off he could see the bones on his right leg and he had to look away. He noticed Eli was breathing but Adam wasn't how was this fair? So Adam was going to die but Eli was going to live..?

"No" Adam muttered starting to pace back and fourth as paramedics quickly worked trying to get him to breathe.

"Non responsive and he's losing blood fast" one of the medics called out.

"He's not responsive either, his vitals are low" another called out speaking about Eli.

Eli just watched he didn't understand what was happening he didn't even notice Adam panicking about his own life to calm him down and then just like that it happened.

"I'm not dying Eli! I'm not!" Adam screamed "This isn't fair!" he stood over Eli's body and suddenly Adam was gone.

"Adam?" Eli called out several times looking for him

"Success! He's responding. Lets move, lets move" one of the medics screamed and Eli looked to Adam thinking he had awaken but Adams body was still lifeless as they were working on him but when Eli looked at his own body he saw his eyes were open and he blinking rapidly or his body was anyway. They wheeled the boys off into the ambulance and Eli followed suit following his own body wanting to know what was going on.

"How are my eyes open?" He asked himself aloud before the realization hit him.

"Adam..he's a step in" He shook his head. No this wasn't supposed to happen like this, it was something Clare had once explained to Eli because she had to deal with this kind of ghost. Its something that happens when a spirit takes hold of a vacated body to take its place instead of dying. Its cheating death really and Adam has cheated himself out of death, whether or not he did it on purpose Eli wasn't sure. He highly doubted it since Adam was freaking out more then anything it didn't look like he planned to step into Eli.

Eli watched as the medics worked on his body and the eyes to his body were shut again but he was still breathing a little more steady now then before. He couldn't see Adam anywhere and was still dumbfounded taking in the whole thing. Twenty minutes ago they were laughing and singing Dead Hand like a couple of sixteen year olds and now they were dying? Or Eli was dying? Or was it Adam? Eli couldn't really tell. He closed his eyes wanting to get some kind of rest,he found it odd that he could close them, he had never really asked Clare these kind of questions about what ghosts could and couldn't do.

Clare.. he thought what was she going to do when she heard.. Clare the love of his life was about to see him in a way he never wanted her to for a long time. As a ghost not with her in this world anymore..he wouldn't be able to hold her this time and tell her it was going to be fine and now with Adam in his body, that was going to be a challenge on its own but this too? Would he ever get his body back...his life..his everything was ruined right now..

They arrived at the hospital and Eli was surprised how fast everything was moving they had taken both Adam and Eli in different directions yelling all kinds of things. Adam was going to undergo some kind of surgery Eli really hadn't heard what. He watched as they worked on him, cleaning his gashes and sewing up anything the was split open. Then just like that he was in a room with a a cord up his nose to breathe, IV in his arm and machines hooked up monitoring his heart rate. He sat in a chair watching himself or Adam..whoever that was sleep. He wondered how long it would take for Clare to get here to see him like this.

He didn't wonder long before his eyes locked with her puffy blue ones as she ran over to his bed side grabbing his hand. He watched her kiss it and squeeze it tight and she whispered to him "Don't you leave me Elijah, ever. You promised forever and I'm expecting that from you dammit" she mumbled. Eli sat there dumbfounded once more ,her called out to her "Clare?" She just kept wiping tears from her eyes and squeezing his hand. He called her name again and nothing, he screamed her name loudly she didn't even flinch. Why can't she see me..?

**Soooooo how was it? be honest. I hope you guys are loving it as much as I am, reviews? :) x Laina**


	2. Chapter 2

Clare held Eli's hand tight squeezing it with her whole might just sobbing as she looked at him. Alli was waiting outside to hear word about Adam but Clare couldn't let herself think about Adam right now. The nurse had told her Adam was in critical condition she could hear her voice in her head over and over "critical...critical..critical condition Ms. Edwards..We'll let you know" She took in a sharp breath and pressed her lips to Eli's hand she couldn't stand the thought of losing either of them.

Eli watched Clare hold his hand and sob he wanted so badly to be holding her and telling her it was okay. He had given up a while ago,Clare wasn't able to see him, he wondered if it was some kind of law since he was a loved one but that couldn't be true because Clare had seen her grandmother when she died. Eli looked at his body laying there and knowing when it awakens it won't be him that is waking up to his Clare it'll be Adam and where was Eli going to go, if he left then Adams body would never come to, he needed to talk to Clare but she couldn't see him maybe he could find another ghost one with useful information.

He looked around the hospital there weren't any ghosts to be seen or maybe there were but they just looked like normal people. He wasn't really too sure how this worked and I mean did he look normal? He sighed shaking his head and walked right through a person and watched as they got the chills, he frowned mentally making a note to not walk through people it was weird. He closed his eyes and thought about Adam, his body so ruined and wrecked just like Morty, Morty was gone and Adam was gone too in a way he wasn't in Adam he was Eli now. Eli cringed at the thought of that there had to be a way to fix this..a way to get everything normal again.

When he opened his emerald eyes he was standing in an operating room, he blinked as he watched doctors and nurses rapidly move working on someone. "Wipe" a doctor called out and a nurse began to clean what he was working on and another proceeding to clean the dripping sweat off oh his forehead. He stepped closer and saw they were working on Adam, draining blood from his punctured lung as one of the doctors has mentioned, sewing up the gashes, trying to stop his internal bleeding but the worst thing they mentioned was the contusions to his head and they could only hope he would make it through the night with such a smack to his head. Eli had to look away he couldn't watch anymore and something was telling him he needed to go back..back to Clare.

* * *

Clare laid next to Eli in his hospital bed she rested her head gently on his chest the only thing keeping her sane was the steady sound of his heartbeat. She closed her eyes still holding his hand, she couldn't believe this was happening that there was a chance she could lose Adam forever, or that Eli could've died she was glad his injuries didn't end up being so serious but still her best friend. She let her tears silently spill onto his chest and a moment after she felt her fingers being played with, she gasped and looked up to see Eli looking down at her. Out of excitement she sat up quickly and pressed her lips firmly to his kissing him in a way she never had before.

When they broke apart Clare smiled placing her hands on his cheeks and resting her forehead gently against his. He smiled back pulling her close with a slight wince "Ah" he groaned softly. Clare frowned placing another gentle kiss on his lips. "Go back to sleep,please" she whispered and he nodded giving her another kiss "I love you Clare". She smiled and laid back against his chest "I love you too" She sighed a huge relief laying against him she drifted to sleep once again listening to the sound of his beating heart.

Eli had been watching the whole time he saw Clare cry and he stood next to her. His heart ached watching Clare kiss what she thought was Eli but it was really Adam. Why was Adam saying he loved Clare? Didn't he know he was Adam? Clare said the step in she dealt with didn't even know who he was at all he had lost all memories but Adam seemed to know exactly who he was talking to. It made him sick to think Adam could be that much of a bastard, had he always had secret feelings for Clare or something? Eli was so angry and hurt he could kill Adam too bad Adam was Eli now...Damn you Adam

No not damn you damn you Adam how about fuck you Adam. Eli had never felt so much anger and pain in one shot. Nothing in his life had ever hurt this bad then to watch Clare think she was kissing him but it was really Adam. His hand balled into his fist and the lights began to flicker and the door slammed shut to the room, Eli was panting even as ghost he didn't know he could feel all of this. He knew his anger was effecting the energy in the room it happened a lot at the house whenever Clare was helping a ghost that decided to help itself to their house. He wanted to thrash something this wasn't satisfying enough, but the anger vanished with the words that he just heard. He looked over to see Clare sat up in the bed staring right at him.

"W-what..no" she squeaked out her eyes never leaving him.

"Clare..its not what you think" he whispered moving to be near the bed side now.

"But you..just" she looked back at his body.

"That's Adam..."

"But that means...he's a step in.." she whispered looking at Eli then back to Eli's body still in disbelief.

"I know..that's what I figured"

"But I...I kissed him..or you or.." she wiped the tears from her eyes "How long have you been here?"

"Since the crash..Adam was angry that he wasn't breathing and I was..I think he somehow slipped in" Eli reached out to grab her hand but he couldn't grasp it.

"Eli...if he's you.." Clare began to sob and Eli went to grab her hand again but nothing he couldn't touch her, he couldn't feel her hand in his.

"We'll fix it Clare" was all Eli could manage to stutter out. Clare put her hand on top of Eli's body hand she was holding it tight trying to hold in her sobs. "This isn't you anymore..." she whispered still not processing these words as they left her lips.

"No but I'm here Clare, I'm still here and I'm not going anywhere"

"Eli you have to!" Clare raised her voice a little.

"What? No and leave you..never"

"You can't stay Eli..." Her voice shook and more tears fell.

"What are you talking about Clare? "

"I'm talking about the fact that you aren't Eli anymore...you're dead..this is Adam now!" she yelled and Eli felt his heart breaking hearing her say that. He wasn't dead..not really he was here and sure Adam was in him now but Clare was the fixer, always had a way to fix everything. Eli has assumed she would know what to do and proceed to making things go back to normal.

"Clare, please don't you know how.." Eli trailed off tears poured down his own cheeks now he hated Clare seeing him cry but he couldn't be tough right now,she was telling him to leave..how could she do that to him of all people?

"I-I don't know how..I had to send the other soul into the light..Eli you're the other soul" She let out another sob her stomach knotted and she cried the hardest she ever had still not letting go of what used to be Eli's hand. She brought it to her lips once more kissing it softly and when she looked up Eli had vanished.

* * *

Clare had spent the rest of the night sobbing against what used to be Eli, when she woke in the morning Adam or was it Eli now was playing with her hair and gently rubbing her back. She looked up at him and he leaned forward placing soft kiss on her lips, they still felt like Eli's lips and still sent the same shiver down her spine, she gave in for a second before realizing what she had done. She pulled back moving away, blinking rapidly she looked at him and confusion etched across his face.

"Do I have morning breath blue eyes?" he asked with a smirk.

"Why..are you calling me that..? Only Eli calls me that" Clare spoke softly still kicking herself for giving into that kiss.

"What..? Well the last time I checked I was Eli" he quirked an eyebrow and grabbed her hand but she pulled it away.

"No..you're not"

"Clare, I think I know who I am...I'm Eli your fiancee we live together on 1319 Clearfalls avenue, Ring any bells?" He asked.

"You're Adam.." she whispered softly

"What, is this a ghost thing?..I'm confused"

"Well yes..but..you I have to go..." She got up grabbing her things and ran out of the hospital as fast as she could. She needed to go home, away from all of this.

* * *

**I know its a little short sorry guys but I felt it was powerful even though it was shorter. I hope the next chapter satisfies you. And what do you guys think is happening? Do you think Adam knows who he is? Who do you feel the worst for? What do you think is going to happen in chapter three? Are you angry with Clare for kissing Eli/Adam a second time? LET ME KNOW :)**


	3. Chapter 3

Eli was in his house now, the one he shared with Clare and Adam he wasn't sure how he had gotten there what Clare said was hurting him so he wished to be somewhere else and he was, he was home. This house felt different somehow empty even though everything was still in place. He crept slowly up the stairs looking at the pictures Clare had hung up along the wall, he stopped to look at the picture of them from this past Christmas. Eli had his arms wrapped around Clares waist holding her close to him, she looked up at him with so much love in those blue eyes of hers he couldn't count how many times he had found himself lost inside of them, he ached to be looking in them right now.

He heard a faint noise coming from upstairs that puzzled him, no one should be here right now. He just left Clare at the hospital so it couldn't be her. When he reached the top of the stairs he heard it again, it sounded like the ocean but they lived a good thirty minutes from the beach you couldn't hear it from here. He walked down the hallway and water from the beach sloshed under the door, Eli shook his head where was he..this wasn't really his house...it couldn't be. He put his hand on the door knob and turned it opened it was dark and when he peered into the door, he saw them. A seventeen year old Eli and newly sixteen year old Clare out for a moonlight picnic on the beach to celebrate her now 1 am curfew.

They were standing along the shoreline he watched his younger self hold a younger Clares hand nervous and he remembered how they had been together just a few days over a year. He was so nervous to make it that far into a relationship or to be this in love with someone. He watched them embrace and share a few soft kisses before he had to turn away and shut the door behind him. When he looked back into the hallway it seemed much longer, there were more door. Eli took in a long breath he was afraid to open them and see what else awaited him.

(Meanwhile,Clare)

Clare sat at the kitchen table her books lay open and she chewed on her pencil trying to concentrate on the passage before her. She read over it over ten times by now but it wasn't sinking in, how could anything ever sink in again? She didn't understand what was happening around her, she was hoping to wake up from this nightmare find Eli curled up next to her and Adam down the hall in his room. She expected to hear them coming through the door at any second laughing about something, or down the hall fighting over games but nothing it was dead silent.

"Damn it" She muttered under her breath, she rubbed her temples trying to keep her mind busy was harder then she thought. Clare snapped her head up when she heard keys in the door, maybe she was dreaming. She was about to get up and run to the door when the person came into view she sighed, no she wasn't dreaming. Alli walked over and sat down at the table cradling baby Nadia in her arms. Clare gave her a small smiled and gestured to her books, Alli shook her head putting her hand over Clares patting it gently.

"Tell me what happened, Your texts confused me from before. You said Eli is dead...but not really"

"Hes dead..Adams not..Adam is in Eli now..a step in" Clare choked out and the tears began to fall again as she remembered how she pushed Eli away. She could only hope he had crossed over into the light and was happy now, at peace somehow that's all she wanted for him at this point.

"Wow...Where is Eli now? Is he here?" Alli asked.

"No of course not..I told him to go away.." Clare whispered.

"You what?"

"I had to Alli, souls don't belong here, I told you this.."

"But Clare..."

"Don't say it Alli" she wiped more tears from her eyes.

"I'm sorry but you're meant to be Clare..almost married there has to be a way" Alli said it softly.

"If there is I don't know what it is or where Eli is..." she put her head in her hands shaking her head as Alli bounced Nadia gently in her lap. It was at that moment Clare wondered where her loving Fiance was and if there was something she could do to get him back, she would give up everything to have him back.

"Darcy said she was going to stop by Clare" Alli finally spoke after they had been sitting in silence for a while.

"Tell her not to, I really don't want to see anyone right now. I just I need to figure this out" She spoke softly keeping her gaze down at the table.

(Eli)

"Eli" He heard a familiar voice call and he turned his mouth dropping open to see a fifteen year old Julia standing before him. She looked exactly how he remembered her, dark hair, eyes and dressed in black. He kind of chuckled looking at her she even still wore that same peeved expression on her face. He walked over to her and smiled softly.

"Julia, Wow" he smiled and the the guilt he had always felt hit him and he frowned.

"Don't you dare feel guilty Eli, just don't that's stupid. I want to throw things at you when I was watching over you" she shook her head and Eli just smiled, yep she was still very much Julia.

"Its weird seeing you older though, I must admit" she continued and Eli nodded.

"Weird seeing you at all" He smirked looking around noticing he was still standing in his house.

"Yeah, well I have a purpose here Eli and there isn't a lot of time so just listen, okay?" Eli only nodded he knew Julia was not the type of person you argued with, especially when she was on a mission to get something done.

"There is a way to fix everything, But Clare has to find the right steps she will shes smart and really loves you. I wish I knew what it was, then I'd tell you, or go tell her myself. I'm sure she wouldn't mind seeing me again" Julia gave him a soft smile and looked around like she was looking for something

in particular.

"Again, you've seen Clare before?" He asked raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah, I've talked to her a couple times, but don't be mad she didn't tell you. I asked her not to, its just I watched her one time have these major doubts about you guys and I couldn't let her leave you" Julia looked back at Eli with a soft sigh.

"Wow.. I don't know what to say Julia but thank you. I'd be so lost without her" He smiled softly and bit his lip, that must be what Clare feels right now,lost. His stomach twisted in pain thinking about everything she was going though, like he had felt when Julia died.

"I know Eli, I know. She's your soul mate even if I had stayed alive through that night we would've stayed broken up. I checked" she let out a small laugh.

"How do you even check? I think I have a lot to learn" Eli shook his head, this whole thing was confusing he was starting to wonder if he was hallucinating.

"Well you have to make it to Heaven for that to happen, to check I mean" She waved her hand in a never mind motion "I wasn't meant to live past that age, either way. I just feel bad I had to go on you, that you went through such hell" Eli looked at the floor then back up at her with a small smile.

"Look Julia, I loved you so much. Even if I went through hell I don't think I'd change anything about my life. I loved my time with you and I love being with Clare but I can't tell you how good it is to know you don't blame me" He let out of a sigh of relief for the first time he felt completely guilt free from Julia's death.

"I know Eli, I know you. And Cece was right, I did just want you to be happy. Its why I sent you Clare in the first place. Ms. Dawes didn't get that idea on her own you know " Julia smirked and Eli had to laugh it was just like her to manipulate a situation to work in her favor.

"What else have you done for me Jules?" Eli asked it was nice to talk to her again, he had missed her. He knew he always will she was a big part of shaping him into who he is.

"That's about it, I just I knew you were miserable and I knew she was your soul mate. You would of met eventually but I just sped up the process that's all" She shrugged and smiled at him. "Its good to see you happy Eli, really"

"Do you ever wish it was you Julia?" Eli wasn't sure why he was asking, mainly out of curiosity he guessed.

"I did, but not anymore. I mean we were good Eli but we weren't right for each other now that I think about it. But like you I don't regret my life, glad you were first love all of the sappy shit you know I hate" She laughed and Eli rolled his eyes.

"But seriously, shut up. I told you there isn't a lot of time and we're just going to make sure Clare and Adam is okay" Julia spoke softly.

"Wait, can I ask what this replica of my house is? And Adam is dead to me" Eli spat those last words out harshly.

Julia turned and scowled at him "Don't say that Eli! He doesn't know any better, this step in case is different he stepped into your life because your body was getting ready to pull you back the same time he went in, things got confusing he really does think he is you" She placed her hand on her hips and Eli's mouth felt open, he felt like such an ass for assuming Adam would ever back stab him like that.

"He has no recollection of Adam but he needs to find himself soon, if he doesn't his soul will battle it out until there is nothing left and not only will Adam be destroyed but you too. It will be like you are both dead and I just won't let that happen to you or him"

Eli was amazed at how much Julia was doing for him, they never had the perfect relationship when she was alive. They fought constantly, had sex before either of them were ready but he knew they had loved each other then. He would always care for her and after this he would owe her everything, she was doing everything she could to fix his life.

"Oh and this house well its like your memories, you know you can walk back on certain moments of your life but you can do that later, like I said right now we're going to see Clare and Adam" She grabbed his sleeve dragging him along. Eli only smiled at her it was different to feel her touch again "Hey Jules, thank you really" he smiled softly at her. She rolled her eyes nodding her head at him "You're such a sap now, thank god we aren't dating"

Eli could only laugh as he followed her out the steps of this house and into pure darkness. He looked around confused by the whole thing but Julia seemed to know where she was going. There was honestly nothing around them just pure darkness, it was kind of eerie even for his taste. She pulled him off to the side and suddenly they were at the hospital, watching Adams body hooked up to all the machines. His pulse looked like it had been the same just barely stable. His face was wrapped up in so many bandages, cuts and bruises all over him, Eli has a hard time looking at him. The tears started to swell he was feeling guilty again for everything, Julia, Clare, Adam, the fact that he thought Adam would double cross him like that...this.

"Hey" Julia put her hand gently on his shoulder. "Its alright, I only brought you here first because I wanted you to know, he made it through all those surgeries" she smiled gently. "Once we can get his soul back in there he'll wake up again" Eli gulped thinking that to everyone else he was in a coma, but he was actually just laying their soulless.

He wished her pep talk had helped but it didn't he still felt guilty, because wherever he went troubled seemed to follow. Only now he brought that on the people that he loved, and it was killing him. He looked at Julia and bit down on his lip before speaking "What if I don't want to fix this Julia, what if I just leave and never come back? Maybe they'd be better off.."

**AN: First I am super sorry its taken me this long to write the next chapter but I had majors writers block and this chapter isn't even that good, there are probably a lot of typos so I apologize now. Hopefully the next one will be much better, does anyone have predictions on what is going to happen? I would love to hear them. Oh one last thing, I got this review saying this story was stupid and to put Eli and Adam back in their bodies I don't like that you wrote Eli off or something like that. WELL I don't mind constructive criticism but that one was rude (Yet I laughed at the review guess that makes me rude too :p) and that person had it all wrong, who said Eli was gone forever? As you can see he is in this chapter. Just don't jump the gun guys okay. Okayy so now leave me some reviews please and thank you **


	4. Chapter 4

(Clare)

Clare was alone in her room it was about six am, she hadn't slept very much that night, it was so lonely and dead silent in the house. Alli had left hours ago, but Clare could still hear her in her head telling her over and over there had to be something to fix it. Clare didn't want to think about what could be she wanted facts, she wanted to know if it could be fixed but its not like she really knew anyone that could help her. The only thing right now that was filling the silence was the music she had playing from her laptop. She reached over grabbing it and opening a blank document, she needed to write maybe it would ease her enough to fall back asleep. Her fingers moved slowly over the keys and tears were already starting to swell in her eyes as she began to type.

_I'm laying in our bed and I've had the same four songs on repeat all night, my head is pounding but my heart aches worse than anything I've ever felt before..Nothing has ever hurt this bad. I close my eyes and all I hear is Alli telling me to sleep, but she should've known I wasn't going to sleep much..I must've looked like hell for her to force me into bed. When I did lay down, I kept my eyes closed letting out shaky breath after shaky breath, I finally started to drift ,not enough though, I could still hear things going on around me..I could hear the songs and my mind started to numb. I could feel my heart pounding hard against my chest. It's weird to be asleep and awake at the same time..not something I could really explain. I started to dream though and I could feel you there around me..your presence was everywhere it was so evident. I wanted to open my eyes jump up and hold you close to me but... I knew already if I did you'd be gone and I'd wake up alone._

_Still I wanted to feel you and then I felt it the touch of your fingers against my cheek and I could feel my body shaking as a reaction. So badly I wanted to open my eyes but I couldn't..this wasn't enough..it will never be enough. I heard you faintly speaking and I tried to so hard to hear the words but they were coming through like a staticy radio station. Your hand stayed on my cheek and gosh the touch was so faint and it felt so real. I never wanted to wake up..if this was the only way to feel you anymore..I would sleep forever. Too bad that never really happened I did wake up eventually, and now I'm here alone Eli, without you... I miss you so much. I know I told you to go away and I can only hope you're at peace now that's all I want for you. I don't know what to do without you though, I feel so empty. Earlier I went to the fridge and I started to ask if you and Adam wanted dinner... Then later once Alli had left I walked into the bathroom to see towels on the floor and I groaned wondering why it was so damn hard for you two to put them in the hamper... . There isn't anything I do that isn't about you somehow... I'm sorry I shoved you away but it was in your best interest I hope you can understand that...God I just love you so much... I'd give anything just to have you with me, to actually feel your arms around me... I just..._

Clare had to stop writing and close the laptop before she broke down into a million pieces. She laid on the bed curling up on her side and closing her eyes, maybe if she went back to bed things would seem better later. She let out a shaky breath, trying to get some sleep but nothing happened. She bit down on her bottom lip, trying to suppress her thoughts but nothing was working. She rolled over with a loud groan and just let the tears fall down her cheeks,crying hard until she could hardly breathe. She gripped the pillow where Eli used to lay taking in his scent and holding it close to her chest. She didn't understand anything anymore, she had tried so hard her whole life to be a good person, help souls into the light and this was what she got for it?

"Please,come back to me" she whimpered into the pillow.

Everything in this room smelled of him, it was killing her but she didn't want to leave either, she needed some sense of him. She was kicking herself for sending him away from her. She knew she did the best thing for him but the selfish part of her couldn't help but want to keep him around even in ghost form was better than nothing.

"I need you, I need you so much" she whispered.

(Two days later ,hospital)

Clare had forced herself out of bed and back to the hospital when she got the call "Eli" was ready to be released and taken home. She felt bad she hadn't even asked about Adam but what was the point when she knew where Adam really was. She almost thought about letting Eli's parents pick him up and deal with him she was still confused about if he knew whom he really was or not. She signed turning the corner and peeking in the room she knocked lightly on the door.

"Come in" She heard Eli's voice and had to fight back the tears.

"Hey" she spoke softly keeping her gaze averted from him.

"Hey blue eyes, where have you been?" He asked her

"A-Around" she stuttered, she was so confused on what was really going on.

"What's wrong? You haven't talked to me, no one will tell me how Adam is...I don't know anything"

Clare's heart broke did he really not know he was Adam? She didn't think Adam would keep playing games this long, she knew him better than that. She walked over and sat next to him on the bed, she shakily reached her hand into the bag she brought with her. It was just one of Eli's regular shirts and jeans but handing them over killed her. She was looking at the face of the man she loved with her whole heart but it wasn't him. He was somewhere else long gone from here.. Taking another breath she extended them out to him.

"Clare" he said softly. She looked down this was so hard, she wasn't sure if she should embrace this, or if she should continue to try and tell him the truth. The selfish part of her wanted to lie to him so she could have somewhat of her normal life back but she knew deep down she couldn't do that to him or herself, she had to let him go. She had to try and tell Adam the truth but maybe right now wasn't that time, right now she needed to get him home to rest.

"Please Ad-Eli, just get dressed okay?" It burned her tongue to say his name, she couldn't help but look for the real Eli around the hospital again. He was nowhere to be found.. of course the one time she told him something and he listened. She sighed as she watched Adam get up from the bed and head into the bathroom to change into Eli's clothes. She rubbed her temples looking around and whispered "Elijah, where are you?" Nothing happened though, he didn't come to her and he probably never would again.

(Adam/Eli)

The car ride home was really silent, Clare didn't say much at all to him. He looked at her wondering what was wrong. Had something that bad happened? Did he do something wrong? Was Adam dead..? It made his stomach turn to think of something like that. Adam was his best friend they had been through so much together,he had gone through enough losing Julia but in a weird way losing his best friend would be so much worse. He took a deep breath as Clare opened the door to the house and placed her bag down. It was as if she wasn't even here, she was truly vacant right now.

"Clare..please..tell me what happened with Adam" he whispered to her. That caught her attention she turned to face him and her eyes were filled with tears. He gulped waiting for her to say something but she didn't, she walked away into the kitchen and started washing the dishes in the sink. He groaned following her in there, turning the water off gabbing her hands holding them gently in his. Her blue eyes met his but then she looked away, he frowned.

"Please, Clare I'm begging you to tell me. I can take it"

"No you can't. Go rest" she spoke it sounded so cold hearted. This wasn't like her, where was his Clare?

"Dammit, Clare!" he yelled he hadn't meant to but he was so frustrated with her acting so strangely toward him. She jumped and tears started to fall from her eyes, He felt bad so he pulled her into a hug kissing the top of her head. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry" Clare only stayed there with him for a moment before she pushed him away.

"Please don't touch me, okay? I just I can't deal with that right now..." She spoke softly. The words cut him deep he wasn't sure what he had done. What was wrong with her?She always told him everything.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to yell.." he whispered looking to his feet.

" I need some time for myself ...I'll be back..later tonight. Please rest" she whispered grabbing her bag and keys from the entrance table. He chased after her and grabbed a hold of her wrist, she was crying again. He took his thumb brushing the tears away from her ivory cheeks, she looked so vulnerable and he felt so helpless. How could I help her when she refused to tell me what was wrong in the first place he thought.

"Please, Adam let me go" she cried pulling from his grip. Adam? What? He only tightened his grip around her and looked at her. "Adam?" he questioned and she looked away from him. He pulled her face towards his own and she couldn't stand to look for more than five seconds.

"You're Adam" She whispered trying again to leave his grip.

"Are you okay? Clare clearly I am not Adam.. I see my reflection right there" He looked at her, he was now truly lost.

"You don't understand! I have to go, let me go,let me go!" she screamed finally yanking herself from his grip she got into the car, driving off as fast as she could. Leaving him standing there utterly confused in their driveway.

**Okay so it wasn't too long but once again it was sort of powerful. No? Oh ok. Well either way this is the end of chapter four and chapter five will be up soon. Let me know what you guys think? Are there things you want to see? Suggestions? I love feedback :) If you've read this far thanks so much for sticking with me xox.**


	5. Chapter 5

Clare drove as fast as she could away from the scene. She couldn't even look in the rear view mirror, it was too hard. It was Monday now, she had lost her boyfriend of nearly six years and fiance of two weeks. It amazed her how that couldn't be enough pain but now her best friend was trapped somewhere he didn't belong. She went to the only place she thought she could go, to her fathers condo. She had canceled on him yesterday for their weekly crossword puzzle date. She sighed pulling into the driveway, wiping the last of the tears from her eyes and stepping out of the car.

The breeze from the cool fall weather stung her raw eyes from all the crying she had just done, even her cheeks felt a bit of the sting. She tightened her coat around her making her way to the door she knocked softly waiting for her father to answer. She stood there looking to the ground when the door finally opened. "Clare bear, what a pleasant sur-" Randal stopped mid sentence to grab his daughter arm and pull her into a hug. She cried softly into his chest and he tried to give her comforting hug. Helen had explained everything to him over the phone the other night, he knew the whole situation but he didn't know how to make it better, that's what killed him. Still after all these years he felt incredibly guilty that he and Helen divorced, rocking Clare and Darcy's whole world.

"I'm so lost dad" Clare sniffled.

"I know, I wish I could do something for you" he sighed "But lets start by getting you out of the doorway and inside" he gave her a sympathetic smile.

They walked inside and Clare sat down on the couch leaving her hands to rest neatly in her lap. Her dad came over with a can of soda and she laughed. "You know mom usually makes me tea when I'm sad" Randal laughed as well shaking his head "Well, I only have berry tea right now and we both know that you're allergic"

"Hot chocolate then? Apple cider? Come on dad you're slacking." she teased it was the happiest she had felt in the last couple days. It was just something about coming to see her dad that made her feel a little better.

"I don't suppose you came here to make up for missing the crossword puzzle though" he commented taking a sip of his own soda.

Clare smiled feebly shaking her head "Not exactly, I just didn't know where else to go. See, Adam I mean Eli well no Adam.. he was able to come home today but I couldn't handle it"

"I see, so you left him there?"

"Right, I shouldn't of because he's confused too. He thinks he's Eli,he has no idea he is actually Adam." She sighed placing her soda can on the table.

"Maybe, you should see my buddy at your school, you know Scott Mohr"

"He teaches at Ryerson,I thought he taught in Hamilton at Mcmaster ? "

"He did, but he got a better job opportunity at your school, I thought I mentioned it to you" Randal smiled and shrugged.

"No you didn't, but yeah maybe...he knows a lot about the paranormal. Maybe it will help"

"Its worth a shot Clare Bear, I'm actually going to meet up with him for dinner in a few. Do you want to join us?"

Clare pondered that for a moment, the faster she could get answers the better her chances were of helping Adam get back to himself. Her dad though, she didn't want to take away any fun he might be able to have while she hounded his friend with questions. "No, thanks Dad. I think I just want to take a shower and nap... is it okay if I stay here tonight?" she asked

"Everything is as you left it, but I better get going now. He's expecting me soon." He chuckled getting up and walking to Clare giving her a tight squeeze. "My little girl all grown up, you'll see though it will all work out" Clare laughed softly and blushed at her dads cheesy comment. "Thanks Dad" she gave him a soft smile pulling out of the hug. She headed back towards the bedroom and into where her room was.

Five years ago during her Senior year, Darcy finally came home from Africa. Clare had been so excited**, **she never expected to already have a nephew on the way and Darcy to be married to Ryan though. That had shocked the living daylights out of everyone, he was someone she met in Africa they had volunteered together. He had gone to Bardell, so all this time they were close and didn't even know it, they were perfect together. Darcy didn't want to stay in Canada though, it still held bad memories for her. Clare watched her sister go through depression while she was here, they stayed maybe for two months before,Ryan came up with the solution of moving to New way they wouldn't be too far but away enough. Helen didn't like the idea of Darcy raising a child while struggling through a depression so she went away too, to live near them. Helen fell in love with it and a man deciding to stay and start over in New York but when she left they had to sell the house.

That was the worst part for Clare was, she really thought her sisters depression, her mother leaving, her parents divorce and losing the house were going to be the hardest things she ever went through. The only thing she had of the old house was her room, her dad had surprised her and decorated her room to look almost exactly the same. She smiled sadly walking into it now realizing those were all almost minor things compared to everything she felt right now. Walking over to her dresser she pulled out one of Eli's old shirts she had left here, from the dead hand concert he went to with Adam and a pair of sweats. She always wondered why she had left them here but when she thought about it, it was because they were apart of her childhood. To her they belonged here, but right now she didn't know where anything belonged.

(Eli)

Eli stood with Julia in front his house now, she turned to glare at him. "What? Are you kidding Eli?" she screamed her voice was shrill and it made Eli jump slightly. " Do you know what its like to be dead? To watch your loved ones suffer because of your absence and you can't do a damn thing to help them. Do you?"

"Julia, I'm fucking dead right now! So yeah, I know what its like" He screamed back at her.

"No, Eli you don't fucking know! You have the damn chance to come back somehow and you would rather throw it away. Can you honestly tell me you'd rather watch Clare suffer for months, maybe years and Adam when he finally realizes he isn't you! Can you? because if you can do that, you are the most selfish bastard I have ever met and then you're right you should just stay dead." Julia's words were harsh and it felt like she had driven a dagger through his heart.

"Fuck you Julia, fuck you!" He balled his hand up into fists, tears swelling in his eyes.

"That's always your defense isn't it? To get mad and push away everyone that wants to help you. It doesn't work Eli and you know it! You can fight me on it all you want but its the truth, I already know you aren't a heartless, selfish bastard so stop acting like one"

Eli took a minute to let her words sink in, he knew in the pit of his stomach she was right. She never babied him when they were together, she just hold him how it was. It's part of why they fought so much, she was straight up and in your face kind of girl. He didn't usually react to that well, he would harbor feelings of resentment towards her for being that way, and she to him for being such a "baby". They were always one in the same and yet completely different together. Once he calmed down enough he turned to face her nodding his head. "You're right, I'm sorry" he whispered.

"Ha, you saying I'm right? that's a first" she rolled her eyes "Hurry up, we're here to check on Adam, anyway" She gestured for him to head inside. Eli gave her a puzzled look not really sure how this worked, Julia rolled her eyes once more. Eli blinked and then they were in the house, Julia on his right side. They walked down the hall and saw Adam sitting on the sofa, he held a picture in his hand and he looked rather upset.

"Whats wrong with him ?" Eli asked

"He's confused, I mean from the looks of it Clare isn't here" Julia spoke softly.

"How do we help him? Realize he's Adam I mean.."

"I told you I don't know exactly, Clare will have to figure it out but I think you should make an appearance to her again"

"She told me not to" Eli looked to his feet and then glanced at Adam who was flipping mindlessly through the tv channels.

"Because she thought it was best for you to go into the light, but you have to tell her it isn't. Why are you so quick to give up all the time? shit."

" I want to respect her wishes"

"Bull shit, you are so full of it. You just don't want her to tell you to leave again. Guess what buddy she probably will, but you have to fight for it." Julia shook her head and Eli looked up at her giving her a half smile. She was right once more, he was scared of being shoved away again, it hurt so much the last time he wasn't sure he could hear her say those words again.

"Go to Clare, I'll stay with Adam. If anything goes wrong, I'll know where to find you"

"Goes wrong?"

"Eli, I told you limited time! Just go, Think about Clare and you'll go to her" Julia waved him off turning to watch Adam.

(Clare)

Clare laid on her bed again,with her notebook rested on her lap as she scribbled down everything she was feeling right now. She remembered the many times Eli had laid with her in here during her senior year, just to talk to or sleep through the night in his arms. He promised he would never leave her alone, that he'd always be here. She knew this happening wasn't by his choice and that if he could be here he would but it didn't change a thing, if she had her way they'd be cuddling in the bed right now talking about their days. Inspiration was soaring through Clare right now though she had written a lot it was more of a song than anything else. She wasn't even trying to write one it just seemed to come out with the emotions she was feeling. Writing was the only thing keeping her from doing something drastic she never thought she'd be one of those girls, someone who loved someone so much living without them seemed impossible. She glanced down at her paper to look at the bit of writing she had just finished.

_Waking up without you, it doesn't feel right  
To sleep with only memories is harder every night  
And sometimes I think I can feel you  
Breathing on my neck_

Tonight, I'm reaching out to the stars  
I think that he owes me a favor  
It doesn't matter where you are  
I'll hold you again

I wish, I could hear your voice  
Don't leave me alone in this bed  
I wish, I could touch you once more  
Don't leave me alone in this bed  
Not tonight, not tomorrow

I've got the feeling that this will never cease  
Living in these pictures, it never comes with ease  
I swear, if I could make this right  
You'd be back by now  
Tonight, I'm screaming out to the stars  
He knows he owes me a favor  
It doesn't matter where you are  
You'll be mine again

I wish, I could hear your voice  
Don't leave me alone in this bed  
I wish, I could touch you once more  
Don't leave me alone in this bed

What about the plans that we had?  
We'd been crazy not to go  
Leave me in case and I'll

I wish, I could hear your voice  
Don't leave me alone in this bed  
I wish, I could touch you once more  
And don't leave me alone in this bed

Don't leave me alone, don't leave me alone  
Don't leave me alone in this bed  
Don't leave me alone, don't leave me alone  
Don't leave me alone in this bed 

Clare put the notebook down and looked up glancing across the room she saw Eli leaning against one of the walls. She blinked shaking her head for a second before their eyes met and he spoke " Hi blue eyes"

**Yep that's where I'm leaving you. I know I'm horrible, honestly this was almost just a filler chapter the next chapter will be chalked with Eclare goodness though. I'm kind of curious on what you guys think is going to happen or what do you want to happen. For those of you that love to read it, I appreciate that so much, I really love this story. I know its kind of sad and painful to read but I just have a sick and twisted mind it all haha. No really, I appreciate all of you that read it thank you so much. Reviews ? x**


	6. Chapter 6

Clare sat up her mouth gaping open for a second closing her eyes one more and then pinching her arm. "Ow" she muttered to herself and Eli let out a low chuckle. "I'm really here Blue eyes" he went and sat next to her on the bed. She frowned she couldn't really feel the indentation of him being there, because in actuality he wasn't. If another human being walked in right now, they wouldn't be able to see him at all. She was still a little speechless that he was here so much so she wasn't sure if she was angry that he didn't listen or hurt or happy to see him. Eli leaned forward though and looked into her blue eyes, she wanted to pull him forward and kiss him right then but she knew she couldn't.

"Why are you here?" She finally managed to ask.

"Because you need me" Clare rolled her eyes it always had to be that simple for him but it wasn't. She sighed shaking her head at him.

"No Eli, I do need you but we're bad for each other in this state. I can't keep you here and you can't keep coming around" The tears now began to well up in her eyes and she let them slowly cascade down her cheeks.

"I know you think so, but Julia says there is a way to fix this... this one time be a little selfish and don't send me away, please" he whispered,it broke Clare's heart to hear him pleading like that.

"I can't" she spoke softly looking to her hands. Eli sighed slightly frustrated shaking his head "No you can Clare Diana Edwards and you will. We are engaged and going to be married sometime next year, I promise you or hell by Christmas if you want! We can be married whenever you want just say the word"

"Can we get married right now?" She knew she was being a smart ass but she had a point. He wasn't Eli anymore and there were no guarantees he could be back to her, at least not like he was before.

"Clare, you know what I meant by that. Don't be difficult" he glared at her and she looked away then back at him. "I'm not trying to be difficult just logical, we can't just assume there is a way to fix everything. We don't know that for a fact not yet,I don't know if I can take the heartbreak of searching to find out in the end there is nothing"

"Just think about it Blue eyes, its worth trying isn't it? If there is nothing to get me back in my own body, I could live in Adams! It would be weird at first but we could make it better, I tried so hard to give you up but Julia made me realize I can't do that. You mean everything to me, everything Clare and I can't let you go" Eli himself was now tearing up he couldn't stand the thought of leaving her behind and hated himself for even thinking about it.

"Eli..." Clare took in a sharp breath wiping the tears off her face. "I can't promise you that, let me talk to the guy my dads friends with, then I'll decide...I don't know if you being Adam is the right thing either, you aren't Adam. I'm in love with Eli, not Adam. How could I ever look at Adams face and then look at yours knowing that's Adam?"

" I don't know... I really don't but do me one favor, don't push me away tonight, please. Let me stay with you and after that I'll disappear until you ask for me" He gave her a hopeful look and she sighed nodding her head.

Eli smirked and Clare laid back on the bed. Eli laid beside her and she frowned once more she couldn't feel him. It almost killed her more to have him there not being able to touch him, or feel him, breathe in his scent than to not have him at all. She fought back her tears and played with engagement ring on her finger. Eli looked down putting his hand over hers even though he knew she couldn't feel a thing, he felt like he could feel her hand. She looked down at their hands and closed her eyes trying to think of something happy.

"_Clare bear come here, its time to do the crossword" Her dad called._

"_Is it? I thought I came here for a game of basketball" she teased._

"_Very funny, come on sit down" he chuckled and put the crossword in front of her. Clare sat down grabbing her pen as they both looked over it._

"_I think I know the first one" Randall smirked and Clare let out a soft giggle._

"_Something your daddy calls you" she laughed softly "Hmm I wonder" She took the pen and wrote in C-L-A-R-E B-E-A-R._

_She wondered why her dad had made his own crossword puzzle for them to do, normally they just did the ones in the paper._

"_Should we do across or down?" She asked looking to her dad._

"_I think we should go from one to twenty" He nodded "And you can't stop until you get to twenty" he added._

"_What are you up to dad?" she asked raising her eyebrow._

"_Just a little fun, Clare come on" he nodded his head toward the crossword. "Alright, alright but I still think you're up something" She took the pen and looked at the number two reading it aloud._

"_Machismo" A-D-A-M. She laughed softly she didn't think her dad paid that much attention to the nicknames they had acquired for Adam over the years._

"_Number three, Greatest group of people in the world" Clare thought about this for a second before turning to her dad. "The Edwards?" He shook his head "Think about your friends" he gave her a warm smile. T-H-E M-I-S-F-T-S._

"_Number four, 1319 Clearfalls avenue is our..." It was then Clare realized her father had not made this crossword puzzle, Eli had. She smirked and looked at her dad now wondering what the two of them were possibly in cahoots about. H-O-M-E._

"_Five, The person that brought us together" M-S. D-A-W-E-S._

"_Six, During exams one year you threw a …" Clare blushed a scarlet color before answering. _

_S-T-I-N-K B-O-M-B. Her dad laughed as she wrote it down "Oh I remember getting that phone call" _

"_Shush, number seven. A delicious dessert named after us" She laughed shaking her head thinking about when Adam had said that about their "couple name" E-C-L-A-R-E._

"_Eight. 'That's me your..." R-O-C-K._

"_Nine. The only thing that makes me feel like I could ever get better" B-L-U-E E-Y-E-S._

"_Ten. I taught you to drive in" M-O-R-T-Y._

"_Eleven. Our first date involved getting a" P-I-E-R-C-I-N-G. Clare blushed again as her dad cleared his throat, whatever this was she was going to kill Eli for reiterating it to her dad._

"_Twelve. Romeo and" J-U-L-I-E-T_

"_Thirteen. You listen to my heart beat because you swear it sounds like your" N-A-M-E_

"_Fourteen. Opposites" A-T-T-R-A-C-T._

"_Fifteen. Tonight I love you is" O-U-R S-O-N-G. One of the many songs they had but that was their very first it would always be special to both of them._

"_Sixteen. 'I think they're...'" D-E-A-D. She laughed softly thinking about how long ago that was. She would never forget that moment though, as cheesy as it was she knew there was something special about them then._

"_Seventeen. We are forever and" A-L-W-A-Y-S._

"_Eighteen. During your senior year the three of us put together a" T-I-M-E C-A-P-S-U-L-E. Clare remembered that, the three of them spent weeks collecting special things to go into that, and when they were older they were going to dig it up and go through it._

"_Nineteen. The first concert I ever dragged you to" D-E-A-D H-A-N-D._

"_Twenty. Will you marry me?" Clare read over that six times before looking at the answer box. It had three spaces in it and Clare laughed softly her eyes brimmed with tears filling in. Y-E-S. Just as she did her dad smiled softly and pulled her into a tight hug._

"_You!" she held onto her dad for a second wondering where Eli was but when she turned around he was behind her on bended knee. Her dad gave her a soft smile before leaving the room, Clare looked down at Eli as he took her hand._

"_Clare you're the best thing to ever come into my life. I was so messed up when you met me but you healed every single part of me no matter how jealous or protective I got, no matter how hard I tried to push you away you were always there. You always loved me for me, got me the way no one else could. You took a broken man and made him whole. I know you're worried that marriage will only fail but I'm promising you here and now ours won't turn out that way. So Clare Diana Edwards, I'm asking you. Will you marry me?" _

"_Yes" Clare squeaked out and Eli smiled taking the ring from the box slipping it on her finger. He stood up picking her up and spinning her around in his arms. He placed her down and they shared a soft kiss, in this moment they had everything they ever wanted._

(Eli)

Eli watched Clare with her eyes closed and sighed hoping she was sleeping now that he was here. She opened her eyes a few minutes later though tears running down them. "Please don't cry blue eyes" he whispered and she took her free hand to wipe her tears. "I'm sorry...I just thought about when we got engaged and I want that back so badly..." she sighed softly.

"I know babe, we both do" He wished so badly he could run his fingers through her hair and kiss her like he did when she was upset. "But do me a favor and please, get some sleep"

"Will you be here when I wake up?" She sniffled some more. Eli chuckled not more than fifteen minutes ago she was pushing him to go away but now she wanted him to be here in the morning.

"I promise, I'll be right here" he whispered into her ear. Clare shivered and touched her hand to her ear with a soft smile. " I barely felt you, but I did" she smiled softly and closed her eyes. Eli had to smile a little that she could feel him even if it was faint. He waited until he was sure he was asleep before placing his hand on her cheek stroking it gently. It amazed him that he was able to touch her and feel her beneath him but she couldn't feel him it was almost like a cruel joke.

"I love you so much Clare, I'm not going to leave ever" he whispered into her hair. She shifted softly and he pressed his lips to her forehead, spending the rest of the night watching her sleep. As he did he couldn't help but to wonder what would happen if he couldn't get back to her... what if he had no choice. That idea killed him but maybe it was more logical then getting back to her, maybe this is what they would be reduced to, nothing more than a memory, a part of her past, just a piece of her like Julia had been to him..

**Okay! So that's it for this chapter. I updated much faster this time didn't I? :p I hope you love this chapter it was one of my favorites to write, I'm a big sucker for fluff so you know haha. Anyway in the last chapter I forgot to give credit to the artist of that song, I had said Clare wrote it but in reality its called Alone in this bed by Framing Hanley. Also a big thank you to the three people that always review I look forward to reading them after each chapter so once again thank you, ****tiffspiff****,****MadameDegrassi-girl**** &****clareandeliforever****. I promise to update ASAP but reviews make me do it faster so Reviews? :p x Laina**


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